How To...turn Down A Role In A Wedding

Sun Herald

Sunday April 13, 2008

David Smiedt

Whether it's as best man, matron of honour, or emcee, being asked to be part of a wedding is an honour. To refuse might not only upset the plans for the day, but it could taint a friendship for years.

According to Amelia Bloomfield, editor of Bride To Be magazine, it's the importance of the role that can provide you with an escape clause. "Acknowledge how valued you feel to have been asked to fulfil this duty, then stress you won't be able to give it the time and attention it deserves due to other commitments."

Bloomfield believes your refusal needs to employ the time-honoured technique of Band-Aid removal: "Be quick, be strong, and dispose of thoughtfully." She also advises timing is of the essence. "The earlier in the planning you decline the offer, the less traumatic it will be for all concerned," she says.

"Don't agree then back out if you didn't want to do it in the first place, and don't be cajoled into changing your mind," she says.

Keep your reasons short, non-personal and more about you than the person about to be married. If all else fails, try bargaining: "Console them with an offer to help with a ceremony reading or another one-off duty of their choosing."

© 2008 Sun Herald

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